 St Alban’s Episcopal Church Bolivar, Missouri Thursday, October 13, 2022 What do clergy do when they go on retreat together? Is there any reason you might care? Why do we do it? Well, there are a lot of reasons. But here are a few that come to my mind: Most of us, most of the time, hardly ever get to see each other. We are serving in one area and the diocese is huge. That is especially true in small town or rural areas. The women priests I love to be with and to share ideas, prayer, and reflections on our priestly journey, are nowhere near where I live. So for me, a huge reason is simply to worship with them, to sing alongside them, to walk around the lake and to break literal bread at the table together. A second reason is to be alone – where no child or parishioner, or neighbor, coach or Mormon missionary can find me. I need that. I needed to spend a chunk of time assessing my own interior direction – what I need, what I want, what I am best equipped to do going forward, and what I might need to let go of as I approach 76 in February. A third reason is simple: Conception Abbey is a place where, as the poet wrote, “prayer has been valid.” The monks have been there for a hundred years, and remain, praying, teaching, waiting before God through times both like and dissimilar to our own,. That atmosphere matters to me. It grounds me. It quiets my heart. And so does the journey – It takes four hours to get there, assuming I don’t speed. That’s time to slow down, And coming back it’s time to slowly begin to think about what waits for me here. I am grateful for a couple of homilies I didn’t have to write, for food I didn’t have to cook, for liturgies I didn’t have to plan, for hymns together that I didn’t select. It was a luxury, and I don’t take it for granted. Why might you care? You might not. But you might. It can make a difference to the people who are responsible to preach and teach and celebrate the sacraments with you! You should actually pray and hope it does.And when you can, you might take an hour or a day to find a way to step back as well. Maybe you can even find a friend to do it with you.  When the sun is behind me and the wind is cold, I see my lengthening shadow and wonder: What influence am I laying on the ground? What spiritual shadows do I cast? It is question worth asking.  Beauty. Holy, holy, holy…They fell gold in the sunlight, gold in the rain – Dying into glory.  It is literal autumn, when seeds of milkweed and other wild plants are spilling, sometimes beautifully. For many of us it is the autumn of our lives – What are the seeds that have developed in us over all these years? What fruit might they bear in a future we may not see?And if we are young – what are we choosing to become now? Walking quietly outdoors always makes me wonder – deeply. It is prayer, too.  Wholehearted? Half-hearted? Half-dead? How do we lives such divided lives? And yet, are we so split, really? The leaf is still whole, after all.   “…the grass fades, but the world of the Lord endures forever…”And the water is deep and clear and beautiful, rippling in the wind of the spirit, the wind of God – All is well – and all shall be well. |
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